


Beard Burn

by deathmetalballerina



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: As you do, Dirty Talk, Eating out, F/F, Female Bilbo Baggins/Female Thorin Oakenshield, Married Couple, Married Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, bilbo having an almost mental breakdown over books, it's cute?, kinda at least - Freeform, strapon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-22
Updated: 2019-07-22
Packaged: 2020-07-10 18:22:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19910158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deathmetalballerina/pseuds/deathmetalballerina
Summary: Queen and Queen-consort get it on like Donkey-Kong.





	Beard Burn

Everything itched from Bilbo’s face, to her neck, to her breasts, and lower to her thighs and between them. She never knew having a lover with a beard could be so uncomfortable.

Oh, but last night was so wonderful, she thought. Picture it: Thorin’s newly restored suites lit up with candles of all sizes. Blue flower petals lining the floor to the bed. And Thorin sitting so prettily in that damned bed, done up so nicely in a blue corset just a bit too small in the chest. Silver ribbons tying her wrists together and hiding those blue eyes. Her hair freshly washed and tied back high on her head perfect for pulling…

“Bilbo!” Balin yelled, snapping Bilbo out of her reveries. “Can you repeat what I just said?” She was sitting in the library with Tauriel taking one of their daily lessons of Dwarven histories. Now that they were consorts under the mountain and all that.

“No… I’m so sorry Balin, my mind has been other places lately. Could you please repeat what you said?” she said.

Balin sighed and mumbled something under his breath. “Yes, we were just talking about the construction of the gates of Durin. And what I asked was, can you name the Dwarrow and Elve who made them?”

She sucked in a breath through her teeth and shook her head no. 

“Alright, lets start back at page seventy. In the year 1293…” Balin continued on with his lesson.

“Bilbo.” Tauriel whispered and leaned over as Balin’s back was turned. “I keep seeing the rash around your mouth and neck and, not to pry, but I have the same problem with Kili. So I made this balm with the little knowledge I have of botany. Hopefully it helps.” She handed her a small container under the table. Bilbo took it and put it in her bag mouthing a thank you as she did so.

“And that concludes the lesson. Now can either one of you tell me the correct answer?”

%%%%%%

“I don’t blame you, Balin was always a bore at teaching, which is awful because the history of the dwarrow is fascinating really.” Thorin said at dinner that night.

“I don’t know, maybe if you just wrote down the important bits I could just study on my own. When I was still a bachelorette, and there wasn't a gaggle of dwarrow taking me on an ‘adventure’ yet, I was a scholar. I could probably just teach myself what I need to know without much trouble.” Bilbo said and took a sip from her glass of wine.

“You could, except the library is lacking in book that are in common. The ones you and Tauriel have are some of the only… thirty we have on hand…” At Bilbo’s open mouth stare Thorin found her fork very interesting suddenly.

“So, that whole library, that beautiful full to bursting library, one of the only parts of the mountain that was practically untouched by the dragon. You’re telling me I can’t read any of it?” Bilbo felt like she was going into shock, she was so excited when the doors that had been sealed shut finally had been pried open to reveal one of the most extensive collections of literature she had ever seen. She had been hoping that when the repairs on the mountain had died down a bit she could have read to her hearts content until the day she died.

“Well, I could… I could read to you, if you wanted of course.” Thorin continued after a moment of watching Bilbo having an existential crisis. Bilbo perked up at the suggestion.

“You would do that? for me”

“Of course. You’re my wife. I would do anything for you.” Bilbo got a warm and fuzzy feeling at the title of wife. she always did.

“I don’t think I’ll ever get used to that.” She said.

“What? Being called my wife.” Thorin said in that voice that made her shiver and her toes curl.

“Yes. Oh, all of this is so new and exciting. We’ve been married of half a year now. You would have thought the honeymoon sweetness would have gone away by now, thats at least what my parents told me, but it's still there, and lovely, and just as strong as it was our wedding night. I never knew life could be this good, but it keeps getting better and better when I’m with you.” If you had asked her two years ago if she thought she would ever be married and as happily as she was, She would have laughed in your face and said never.

“Well does my wife want to go home and do wifely thing?” Thorin asked with a feral smirk and hungry glint to her eyes.

“Yes, oh Eru yes.”

%%%%%%%

The Dwarrow really did have some ingenious inventions. like the glasses Thorin uses to see long distances better (and poor Thorin when they broke before she had even gotten to Bagend), or the truly amazing pipes that go through the whole mountain to deliver hot water wherever you wanted it.

But the best invention Bilbo had found in her time in the the mountain was the glass phallus and leather harness that was at the moment working it’s way in and out of Thorin at a hard and heavy pace. Thorin moaning beneath her whenever she hit just the right spot.

Bilbo put two fingers to Thorin’s mouth, she took then and wrapped her plush lips around making one of the most lewd sucking noises Bilbo had ever hear while making full heavy lidded eye contact.

“How do you put on this show all day long of complete Dominance and rule everybody with an iron fist, when really you are such a submissive whore when I get you under me like this?” Bilbo tweaked one of Thorin’s nipples hard when she said ‘whore’ to make her whimper around her fingers.

Thorin pushed Bilbos fingers out of her mouth with her tongue and said. “Because I’m your’s. Because the king under the mountain is a hopeless slut when her mistress' cock is buried to the hilt in her… urgh!” Thorin through her head back and arched off the bed when the glass cock was replaced with the two fingers curled into her g-spot, a thumb swirling around her clit, and Bilbo’s mouth sucking hard and nipping at her breast, her other hand pulling and playing with the other one.

With a shout that was sure to elude all the other Dwarrow to their doings Thorin spasmed uncontrollably as she came. Bilbo didn’t stop her menstruations until Thorin laid still, breathing heavy, with drool on her chin, clear juices flowing out of her core darkening the sheets, and her hair and beard a tangled onyx and silver mess against the sheets.

“Was it good, dear?” Bilbo whispered into her ear. She nodded and Bilbo unlatched the harness around her hips to go clean it, and to get some fresh bedding.

As she was slipping off the bed Thorin grabbed her arm and pulled Bilbo’s back towards her chest and rolled on top of her, caging her in with her arms. Why did you tell your big wife you had a thing for bigger and stronger than you lovers? She thought. “did you really think I was just going to leave you to your own devices when you’ve just made me cum so hard I thought I had entered Mahal’s halls for a second?” her beard was scratching along the back of her neck and making her shiver.

Thorin slid her hand along Bilbo’s side slowly, scratching her nails along lightly raising gooseflesh. With her mouth she bit the shell of her sensitive ear making it flick. When Thorin’s hand stopped rubbing along her side she roughly grabbed Bilbo’s hip and turned her onto back before promptly putting her full weight back on her.

Thorin started kissing and nuzzling along her neck, making her way up to her jaw where she licked and nipped gently. And finally made her way to ravish her mouth with open mouthed kisses that made Bilbo’s head swirl.

Meanwhile one of Thorin’s hands where rubbing Bilbo’s soft stomach, making it way down to her curly bush slowly to tangle in the soft hair and-.

“Tell me what you want, Amralime…” Thorin said pulling away for a moment.

“You between my thighs until I am so over stimulated and raw I am begging you to stop. And then I want you to keep going until I am completely numb down there. You got it, love?” Thorin in answer kissed her hard one last time on the mouth and then shimmied her way down to meet another pair of plush, sweet tasting lips.

Thorin first held her open with her thumbs and lapped at her folds with a flat and wide tongue, changing it ever so suddenly to a narrow point to get to every part she missed. Bilbo started absentmindedly playing with one of her breasts as she watched her wife between her thighs, with the other hand she ran her fingers through Thorin’s hair.

“You’re so beautiful. I’m so lucky to have you, darling.” Bilbo whispered, she could feel Thorin smile against her and then suck hard against her clit making her moan and grip Thorin’s hair harder. “Oh Eru do I love you.” She said breathlessly.

Thorin pulled her closer and started going at it like her life depended on it. Bilbo could feel the tightening at the bottom of her stomach. The mounting pressure signaling her release. And then Thorin did that thing with her tongue that did the job every time.

Bilbo came with a deep exhale pulling Thorin up to kiss her. tasting herself on her wifes lips and tongue was one of the best parts of love making, the small possessive victory of it welled up in her at the realization of this being real. And that Thorin was hers that this was forever, and that nobody else would get this with her and vice versa.

“I love you. I love you so much. You are the best thing I have ever or will ever have. Even a hundred Arkenstones could never take my mind from me again when you always occupy it so frequently.” Thorin said against her mouth. Her beard scratched and tickled as she kissed her mouth, face, and neck making Bilbo giggle.

“I really must get up now. I have to go clean up and use the bathroom. I don’t want a repeat of the horrid itch again.” Bilbo said detangling herself from her wife’s clutches.

“Fine, I’ll change the sheets while you’re gone.” One last kiss and finally Bilbo was released.

In the bathroom Bilbo took the glass cock out of it’s harness and put it in a dish of hot water and vinegar, and used a bit more of the solution with a rag to clean the harness.

Next she turned on the “shower”, a wonderful invention by the dwarrow that basically makes warm indoor rain, and rinsed off making sure there wouldn’t be a problem like the last time she just went to sleep after sex.

When she got out she saw the small jar Tauriel had given her earlier. She slathered some on her neck and face, and was amazed at the instant relief it gave her so she put a bit on her thighs and stomach and felt so much better after the Itch subsided.

She got out of the bathroom and slipped into the freshly made bed and fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow and Thorin’s arms were around her.


End file.
